remembering

Today J, my friend L, and I attended a memorial service hosted by the Ronald McDonald house. It was very touching, definitely emotional, and I'm too tired to say much more about it than that. We were surrounded by people who know our grief all too well. We were presented with these remembrance stones, inteded to be placed in the remembrance pond. Tellingly, I was unable to let go of ours, so they're at home for now (and likely for always) in the hydrangea garden we planted after the first loss. I miss our babies today more than ever.











And sometimes I don't have the energy
To prove everybody wrong
And I try my best to be strong
But you know it's so hard
It's so hard
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard when it doesn't come fast
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard
It felt like a given
Something a woman's born to do
A natural ambition
To see a reflection of me and you
And I'd feel so guilty
If that was a gift I couldn't give
And could you be happy
If life wasn't how we pictured it
And sometimes I just want to wait it out
To prove everybody wrong
And I need your help to move on
Cause you know it's so hard
It's so hard
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard when it doesn't come fast
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
So hard
I can live for the moment
When all these clouds open up for me to see
And show me a vision
Of you and me swimming peacefully

-Dixie Chicks